Catastrophe
by Palanfanaiel
Summary: After stealing Dumbledore’s last Sherbet Lemon, McGonagall does everything in her power to keep the candy from him. She's in big TROUBLE! Will he ever get it back? Do not mess with Albus Dumbledores Sherbet Lemons! (Warning, ADMM)COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hey guys! This I came up with when the word catastrophe just came bombing down on me hurting my poor head in the run! The word is so hilarious, Cat – a – strophe! It just makes sense; this could definitely be a fanfic with a certain cat in it! Heh heh! Mwu-ahaha-ahahahhh! Oh and all charecters are probably OOC way too muc.. heh heh!  
  
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and characters belongs to J. K. Rowling! I make no profit out of this, and if I did I'm J.K! Which I'm not! (No I'm not J.K. in disguise!) So...  
  
Summary: Someone's in big trouble!  
  
** Cat – a – Strophe!**  
Chapter 1

=)

"...Therefore I would assume classes are all set, if we all agree on this timetable next staff meeting!"  
  
"Ahh, how fabulous, Minerva. Just one tiny little problem!"  
  
"And what may that be, Albus?" she said a small smile playing on her lips, though her eyes sent him a sharp patronizing glare.  
  
"Well assuming every teacher agrees it's perfect, but I remember last time, where agreement seemed very distant!"  
  
"Snape was being very uncooperative!"  
  
"I'm sure he had his reasons!"  
  
"Reasons! What reasons! He was just out to get me!"  
  
"Out to get you, my dear! I guess that's one way of looking at it!"  
  
"Oh, come on now. You know how much he gets off by annoying me the best he can!" she exclaimed and got a chuckle from Albus.  
  
"I will admit the two of you gives the rest of the staff a great laugh at times"  
  
"Har-har! Aren't we funny today!"  
  
"I was simply telling you the truth about how ridiculous and childish a certain Minerva Mcgonagall and Severus Snape can be!"  
  
"Thanks a lot Headmaster," she snorted.  
  
"Your welcome, Professor!"  
  
"Oh don't professor me, and quit that hurt look! Puppy eyes will get you nowhere!"  
  
As a respond to her statement he chuckled merrily, supporting his weight with his elbows on his desk. Taking off his glasses, he wiped a few tears away from his twinkling eyes.  
  
"Getting a little sentimental on your older days!"  
  
"Just a little, my dear"  
  
"Little seems underestimated!"  
  
"Cookie?"  
  
"What!"  
  
"Would you care for a cookie?"  
  
"Why, for the sake of Merlin's beard! He's offering me cookies!" She cried in exasperation to the sky and no one in particularly.  
  
"Or would you rather care for a Lemon Drop?" he asked ignoring her little outburst.  
  
Sighing she rolled her eyes: "What happened to 'would you like a Sherbet Lemon?'"  
  
"My supply is reaching 'nothings left'!"  
  
"Uhhh! Are you saying, that Albus-the-candy-devourer-Dumbledore hasn't got any Sherbet Lemons left? Has the world finally run amok!" she quipped while waving her arms around dramatically.  
  
"Har-har! Aren't we funny today! I knew I shouldn't have let you consume chocolate yesterday! You really get cranked up on it!" he got nothing but a smirk from her.  
  
"If you must know, I only have one Sherbet Lemon left! I'm keeping it for a special occasion."  
  
"What special occasion?"  
  
"I do not know yet!"  
  
"Hmm. Where do you keep this last Sherbet Lemon?"  
  
"I'm not telling!"  
  
"Why?"  
  
"The glint in your eyes reminds of the mischief I see every time looking into Fred and George Weasleys eyes! Your intentions to know my hiding place for my dear Sherbet Lemon are highly suspicious!"  
  
"Thanks for your trust in me!"  
  
"Ahh, you're trying to make me feel awful! My conscience is clear, that won't work with me missy..."  
  
"...Well...Sniff...I guess I'll just...sniff...go find some real friends! Someone who trusts me, and doesn't...sniff...think the worst of me...." He looked at her, trying to see if she was being seriously or just fooling around. Alas she looked on the point of tearful, yet he knew she's was just acting. But nonetheless he might as well tell her! She wouldn't try anything, she knew how precious his Sherbet Lemons were for him.  
  
"...Okay, you get your way, Professor!" He sighed.  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"My one and only Sherbet Lemon is in the pocket of my cloak" He took out the little candy from the inside of his colourful cloak, placing it gently on the table. After that it all happened so fast.  
  
Minerva stood up, and before he could utter a word...  
  
"Accio Sherbet Lemon!" was the words that doomed the both of them.  
  
"Hi hi hi!!! You'll never catch me!" And with that she was off, running the fastest she could out of the room.  
  
"WOMAN! GET BACK IN HERE WITH MY SHERBET LEMON!"  
  
It didn't work, so he dashed after her...

=)

Hmmm. So what do you think? Ridiculous, but worth reading! Funny, but a waste of time! Well tell me, you know a.k.a. review! =)  
  
pALLy...... AnD pLeAsE sPaRe Me! ThIs Is JuSt A pAtHeTiC eXcUsE wHiLe TrYiNg To GeT rId Of My FkInG bLoOdY wRiTeRsBlOcK fOr AnOtHeR sToRy PrEsEnTlY jUsT aS pAtHeTiC aS tHiS!!! HMmM! aM i MaKiNg AnY sEnCe YeT! pRoBaBlY nOt! SoRrY! I'm RaViNg MaD; i KnOw It AnD aRe OvErLy PrOuD oF iT!  
  
i MuSt Be BoReD sInCe UsInG mY tImE wRiTiNg sIlLy StUfF lIkE tHiS!!!!  
  
hEh HeH fOrGiVe Me!!!  
  
PaL


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Hey, back again! Yeah, it was quite quick! Applause Yeah, I know! Thanks! Heh heh! Well anyways on with the story...  
  
**Cat – a – Strophe!**  
_Chapter 2  
_=)

"Pass the bread, Potter!"  
  
"Why don't you just take it yourself? If you just stretch a little, surely you can reach it!"  
  
"Oh, Saint Potters legendary good manners aren't present, what a surprise! I would appreciate it, if you show some proper respect towards me. I am after all the one to give you your potions grades, and I'm sure a T doesn't suit your little hero-brain!"  
  
"Why don't you just go elimi..."  
  
"Would the two of you just shut up! Harry show some respect towards your teacher, and Snape, try to act your age and as a civilised wizard," came the demanding retort from Alastor Moody, tired of the lack of silence there was in the large kitchen. He took out his infamous vial, and drank some of the liquor. Snape gave Moody his death stare, but didn't say anything on the other hand.  
  
Harry looked around the room, noticing how many members of the Order stared at him and Snape. He took a bite of his toast, and gave Fred and George a smile. They were giving him the thumb-ups, probably for annoying Snape. Ron, sitting on his left slurped some of his pumpkin juice so noisily that Moody copied Umbridges dreadful line, "Hem hem!"  
  
Nearly everyone around the table jumped, and Ron rolled his eyes. Hermione was reading a book, and wasn't distracted by Moody at all. Harry wondered whether she would notice if Death Eaters attacked Grimmauld Place. He guessed not. Everyone was silent, people eating their lunch and others reading or just minding their own business.  
  
"WOMAN! GET BACK IN HERE WITH MY SHERBET LEMON," boomed a thunderous voice from above. Everyone looked at the ceiling with apprehensively expressions.  
  
"What was that," asked Mr. Weasley looking up from his book about 'muggle electricity'.  
  
"It sounded like the Headmaster," answered Lupin shrugging his shoulders.  
  
"But isn't he up going through this school year's schedule? With McGonagall," asked Snape in his usual silky voice dripping with acid.  
  
"It sounded a lot like Dumbledore!" commented Mrs. Weasley. While the adults continued their talking, Hermione had finally let her book aside and joined the present, she leaned toward Harry, Ron, Fred, George, Ginny and Neville.  
  
"What do you think is going on? It surely was Dumbledores voice! He was yelling something about Sherbet Lemon, whatever that is?"  
  
"It's a mugglecandy," answered Harry.  
  
"How do you know that? I'm muggleborn, and can't remember a candy named Sherbet Lemon!" Hermione looked perplexed at them all.  
  
"It's Dumbledores favourite candy, you know he really has a sweet tooth!"  
  
"Ohh"  
  
"But that doesn't explain..." Fred started  
  
"...Why he was yelling Sherbet Lemon," continued George.  
  
"Wasn't he yelling 'woman' first! I think..." further Ginny didn't get because at that moment the kitchen door banged open with such a force, that it crashed into the wall with a loud 'thud'. Everyone looked up; expecting Tonks to come stumbling in, but the person whom entered gave them quite a shock.  
  
In came a running Minerva McGonagall, her emerald robes flapping behind her. She haltered next to Snape, who was giving her a very mixed glare.  
  
"Minerva, what's going on?" enquired half of the people in the room.  
  
"Nothing!" she said seriously, but ruined it all when she began to giggle. Harry looked puzzled at her; he had never seen her actually giggle, like any teenager girl. This couldn't be his transfiguration teacher, no frigging way!  
  
She was now doubling over with laughter, holding on to her stomach in pain. She almost couldn't stand herself, and was leaning over Snape's chair while banging her fists at the table.  
  
Yet again the poor kitchen door was banged open, but this time with much more force than before. Harry was surprised the door wasn't broken yet. He was surprised once more – what a day – when a very angry looking Dumbledore walked swiftly into the kitchen. He looked gravely at the laughing McGonagall. He coughed and she looked up, giving him a flashing tooth smile.  
  
"Hi hi hi – Hello Albus – Hi hi hi," she managed between laughs.  
  
"I see you're enjoying yourself," he just stated in a low voice, but nonetheless everyone heard.  
  
"Heh heh – Oh stop being such a spoilsport!"  
  
"Minerva, I'm warning you," Dumbledore went on in a severe voice.  
  
"Uuuhh...I'm scared"  
  
"You should be!"  
  
"Are you trying to fright me!"  
  
"I'm losing my patience, Minerva"  
  
"Spoilsport!"  
  
"Minerva!"  
  
"Killjoy!"  
  
"MINERVA!"  
  
"Party pooper!"  
  
"MINERVA MCGONAGALL!"  
  
"Curmudgeon!"  
  
"YOU HAVE ONE SECOND TO RETURN MY SHERBET LEMON," Dumbledore boomed, obviously rather impatient. He walked towards her, but she just moved away from him, all the time having the big wooden table between them.  
  
"Are we feeling somewhat edgy today, Albus," McGonagall grinned, completely ignoring his thunderous face and the dangerous glint in his eyes.  
  
"Give. It. To. Me. NOW!"  
  
"Say please..." McGonagall teased.  
  
"Please," Dumbledore spoke somewhat strained and even gave her a pleading look.  
  
"Heh heh! Haven't you learned yet? Tsk tsk,"McGonagall mocked him.  
  
"Learned what?"  
  
"Puppy eyes doesn't work with me, Mister!"  
  
"You're SO CHILDISH!"  
  
"Me childish! I ain't the one craving madly for a bloody sweet, now am I! So tell me who's childish now!"  
  
"DETENTION," Dumbledore yelled at the top of his lungs  
  
"Excuse me!"  
  
"I'm giving you bleepin' detentions for a whole bleepin' year! You bleepin' idiot!"  
  
"WHAT," McGonagall was shouting at the top of her lungs, the volume matching Dumbledores.  
  
Harry was genuinely beside himself and a bit mystified. He wondered what the heck was going on! He looked at Hermione, and saw her sitting with an open mouth; this was the first time they had heard Dumbledore curse. More than once! And McGonagall was so out of character it was almost unbelievable. He would have laughed and thought the whole situation somewhat amusing if it hadn't been for the fear of interrupting them. But he kind of feared their tempers at the moment.  
  
"YOU CAN'T GIVE A TEACHER DETENTION, YOU IMBECILE BLOODY FLOBBERWORM! AND I'M THE DEPUTY, YOU CAN'T DO THAT!"  
  
"WATCH ME!"

=)  
****

**A/N:** Hmmm! So is this bloody story getting better? OR WORSE!  
  
Plz tell me so I can continue anyway with poisoning your minds with buckets of gobbledygook and piles of crap. Heh heh! I see it's already working, since your reading this.  
  
Hmm self-confidence you say!  
  
Nah, I'm just a natural pessimist.  
  
Thx to you marvellous reviewers, I really love you!

PippinsMyHobbit: I changed the summary a little; I really suck at summaries, but thx anyway.

Leviathan Ashes: Glad you liked it, of course there's more!

Crookykanks: Well everything in this is pretty OOC, but hey glad you didn't just ditch it because it isn't way to serious. Thx.

Minerva'sQuill: Are you Trelawney in Disguise? Or do you just happen to have a crystalglobe right next to you! You wrote it would be fun with Albus chasing Minerva! See! You should take divination, if it isn't already one of your subjects. Thx =)

Catwoman99: Thx. Yup never mess with the great Albus Dumbledores Sherbet Lemons!

Angeldust a.k.a Evilwoman: Glad you did! (I mean that you liked it) THX!

And also thanks to Bloody Mary, Fluff Anonymous and Helen.   
****

**Pal =)**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** Yeah back again. Unbelievable, oh yess... Sorry for the long wait, but I was on a summer course thingie... Heh heh...  
  
**Cat – a – Strophe!**  
  
_Chapter 3_  
  
"WATCH ME!"  
  
There was an awkward silence after Dumbledore had shouted those two words. Minerva glared at him, and she felt she was about to spit fire like some vicious dragon. How dare he suggest detention to a teacher, to her! How dare he! She could feel the small sweet through her robes; she had put it in her pocket. She smiled a very vile smile; Dumbledore and the rest of the order noticed it with some uncertainty.  
  
"Detention sounds fine, Dumbledore!"  
  
"Wha...Whaa...WHAT," he exclaimed with an open mouth and round eyes.  
  
She saw her opportunity to run away, and headed for the door. Dumbledores reflexes weren't that good, since he was surprised at her reaction to his whole detention thing. But he leaped after her nevertheless, leaving the witches and wizards in the kitchen to ponder their Headmaster and his deputy's bizarre behaviour.  
  
Minerva smiled wickedly as she went through the door and toward the staircase; glad he hadn't caught her yet. Just as she was about to reach the staircase and climb it, pain jagged through her leg. Clutching her leg, she fell hard on the floor. Looking towards the kitchen door she saw Albus Dumbledore standing there holding his wand in her direction. He was grinning with mischief.  
  
"Got yer," he said as he walked nearer his voice filled with triumph.  
  
"Foul player," she spitted through her clenched teeth, feeling her anger boiling just under the surface.  
  
"All is fair in love and holy war, my dear!"  
  
"Fine, if you say so! Then I see no problem that I'll just take this," she started holding the precious Sherbet Lemon in front of her mouth, "and just enjoy it!"  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO," yelled Dumbledore and threw himself at her.  
  
Minerva saw this coming, and instead of putting the candy in her mouth she put in somewhere secret, somewhere she was sure he wouldn't dare to take it (cough cough... now use your imagination fellas... cough cough Such dirty minds you have...Oh Behave!). She was about to grin when he surprised her as he landed right on top of her, knocking the wind out of her, and leaving her heaving for air.  
  
He gripped her arms and straddled her with his legs. She was caught. And he was holding the longest straw.  
  
"I'm going to be a nice guy here, and give you one chance to give me back my Sherbet Lemon," he offered giving her a rare smile.  
  
"Never," she hissed still upset he had used magic to catch her. It was so unfair. She should have thought of using magic before him, she really ought to have remembered not to play entirely fair.  
  
The smile that was plastered on his face fell, and his eyes lost its usually sparkle, only a cold ocean blue was left.  
  
She giggled at the thought of making Albus Dumbledore loose his patience, for he had indeed lost it and dark clouds were gathering around his head.  
  
"Why are you such a self-absorbed pain in the arse," he sneered trying to provoke her. He succeeded quite fairly.  
  
"WHAT! Take a look at yourself mister, and tell me who's a pain in the ASS! In fact you're worse! YOU HAVE THE BLOODY INTELLIGENCE OF A...A...A...OF A BLOODY CUCUMBER," she stormed trying to free herself of his steel-like hold. It didn't work; she was still trapped beneath him.  
  
He just grinned at her outburst. "You're trapped! Better surrender for your own good... and health!"  
  
"You don't scare me!"  
  
"WHERE IS MY SHERBET LEMON?"  
  
"I'll never tell!"  
  
"Admit you're defeated by me!"  
  
"OVER MY DEAD BODY!"  
  
"THAT CAN BE ARRANGED!"  
  
"It's just a figure of speech, Albus"  
  
"I know"  
  
"Then why for the sake of Merlin's beard did you say it could be arranged," she asked with a shrill voice.  
  
"To see you go all hysterical!"  
  
"I'm not hysterical!"  
  
"If you say so, my dear!"  
  
"I am not!"  
  
"Are too!"  
  
"Am NOT"  
  
"Are TooOOOOooooHHHH," he howled and leaped away from her holding his leg. She had kicked him with all her might on his poor leg. She wouldn't be surprised if it would be a big black bruise tomorrow. She grinned a wicked smile, glad she was finally free of his grasp.  
  
"That was uncalled for," he yelled at her from the place he was sitting on the floor.  
  
""What comes around goes around!"  
  
"You're dead, Minerva! YOU'RE SO DEAD!"  
  
"DO NOT COME NEAR ME AGAIN! I'M WARNING YOU, ALBUS! DO NOT..." further she didn't get as they again was rolling on the floor like two kids having a snow fight. Though there were no snow or kids, just two grownups.  
  
Trying to get away Minerva began to crawl towards the staircase, but something haltered her. And before she could take out her wand, Albus Dumbledore had again trapped her. This time though is was worse. He did the most wicked thing he could do to her. He began tickling her.  
  
"S...T...O...P.... EeeeeeeeettT!"  
  
"Oh no, my dear!"  
  
"Pleeaasssssseee," she screamed while trying not to laugh like a maniac. No matter how much she was wriggling, trying to get away, it didn't help. No matter how much she pleaded with him to stop, to have mercy on her, he didn't. No matter how much she tried to control her laughing, to think of anything else, she found herself giggling, laughing and screaming at the same time. But then again she was terrible ticklish.  
  
He suddenly stopped, and she was trying only to focus on breathing again. Something caught her attention while getting her breath again, that something or more someone was standing over at the kitchen door. In a matter of fact it was a crowd of people, looking at her and Albus, with bemused expressions. She felt her heart sink to her toes – the whole Order was looking, the whole bloody Order was bloody looking at them bloody fooling around. How embarrassing. She wished she could just dig a hole and slip away unnoticed. Unfortunately she didn't have a shovel and she was damn sure Albus Dumbledore would do everything in his power to make sure she would stay right here. At this moment he was doing a quite good job of it. She looked back at her friend and saw a thin smile on his lips.  
  
"Are you going to hand back what you stole or what," he asked kindly and loud enough for everyone to hear. He was enjoying this far too much! He wasn't the slightest ashamed!  
  
"Nope. I see no reasons you should have it back as you treated me quite horrible!"  
  
"What, " he laughed until he saw her stubbornness in her eyes, "C'mon Minerva, this is going nowhere!"  
  
"Furthermore I can't see why I can't have it!"  
  
"Because it's mine!"  
  
"Then again I can't see why we can't share it!"  
  
"SHARE IT! That's blasphemy, woman! You must be mad to suggest something so outrageous as that!"  
  
"Look who's talking! Blasphemy! Outrageous! I'll give you MAD," and with strength Dumbledore hadn't believed she pushed him away, stood up and ran over to the staircase and further up.  
  
Coming into a room she closed the door silently behind her, trying to hold her breath she turned around to see where she had ended and nearly jumped ten meters into the air of fright!  
  
Right in front of her stood no other than Albus Dumbledore himself. And to top it all he wore a smug expression. She didn't need communication to figure out she was in big – BIG – trouble.  
  
**A/N:** So! Tell what you think! Thx for reading and reviewing guys!  
  
Morgana-Alex: I am so glad you appreciate that the characters are soo out of character, cos they really are. I'm having a blast writing it. Heh heh, thx for the review =)  
  
minni: Uh-Uuuhh! You review made one happy little writer! I love making stories people laugh at, and I'm glad you laughed too, since you say it's a rare thing! And thx so much for reviewing chapter 2, I hope you laughed at this chapter too! I certainly do! =)  
  
Alrasha: Yeah I think I would jinx them senseless, but then again Dumbledore is sooo noble! Hem hem, noble!!! Well okay only a wee tad noble in this 'funny' story! Thx for the review! Hope this was just as funny as the last one!  
  
minniminnie: of course I'll keep updating, already have a few plots for the next chapters! Though I'm not entirely sure how many there'll be! Thx for the review =)  
  
Minerva'sQuill: So many ideas you have! =) But no duel this time, only the rolling on the floor and tickling! But who knows what will happen in next chapter!! (Hey ain't I, the author, supposed to know that! Hmmm. Drat it!) =) Thx  
  
Angeldust aka Evilwoman: I really love the detention thing too! I mean, think about it, can Dumbledore really give another teacher detention! And whom would it be with! It's easy enough for MM, just put her some hours with Snipe, ups I mean Snape and she'll obey!! Heh heh! =)  
  
Leviathan Ashes: I write till my fingers fell off my hands! Hope you like this chapter as much as the others. I have to agree, this is getting so much worse! But just hang on, it'll be a lot more wicked! =)  
  
Queenie-97: Finally someone's commenting on my funny communication! I mean either you understand it or you don't!!! Glad you do =)  
  
Catwoman99: Silly, Of course, it's me Pal who wrote it! OOC, Oh Yess, much weirder than normal, and if it weren't for names, you wouldn't have a damn clue to who I was writing about!! Got at least a few chapters more!! =)  
  
Fluff Anonymous: Hi again there!! Thx for reviewing, I'm soo thrilled you think it's bloody hilarious! LOL =)!!!  
  
Darlingdearheart: Hi Darl!!! Omg! You reviewed! Thx thx! I'm sooooooooooo happy you liked it; you know the happy dance don't you! Well I'm jiggling it now! Nope it's not pretty! =) Lots of Love, Pally!!! =)  
  
I'll try to bring next chapter up as soon as possible! You just keep reviewing! Thx =) Pal


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** Yes I'm back... Sorry it took some time, but I have just been sick, and wasn't feeling too good to sit down and write... Anyways here we go...  
  
** Cat – a – Strophe!**  
  
_Chapter 4_  
  
"But-but you were down there, behind me, and how-how did you know what room I would pick! HOW IN THE NAME OF MORGANA DID YOU DO THAT," she said in a somewhat hysterical voice, nevertheless trying her best not to panic.  
  
"I have a few aces' up my sleeves!"  
  
She sighed – Defeated! She might as well commit suicide right away; she was a good deal more than dead!  
  
An idea formed itself, as she was about to surrender and hand back the candy. And as so many times before she acted out her plan before he could utter a word or move...  
  
She took out the candy from her bra, unwrapped it, and put it in her mouth smiling devilish at him.  
  
He stared. She had just put his precious, his precious sweet, in her mouth. And now she had the nerve to smile at him.  
  
He took a step forward and was just about to take hold of her, when she transformed into her animagus form, and ran under his legs as a tabby cat.  
  
"Galloping Gargoyles," he cursed and spun around looking for his deputy in her cat-form. She was nowhere to be seen.  
  
"Come out Kitty Cat! Wherever you are! C'mon Tabby," he tried without success.  
  
"Kitty kitty kitty..." he continued.  
  
"C'mon pussy, I swear I won't hurt you! As a matter of fact I'll give you a reward if you come out voluntarily, I'll just forget this whole candy business. What do you say? Okay? Kitty kitty kitty!"  
  
What Albus Dumbledore didn't know was that right under the four-poster bed a pair of green eyes with black splits was watching him intensely.  
  
The cat watched his feet pace around until they suddenly stopped and Albus gave a whooping noise.  
  
"Accio Minerva McGonagall," he laughed happily. The cat started to slide towards Dumbledore, though she fought bravely. But the spell was rather powerful, and Dumbledore ended up with a cat in his arms.  
  
"Haha-haha! Got yer – again! What does that tell you, kitty! Never mess with me! Haha-haha!"  
  
He laughed merrily until he remembered that his precious Sherbet Lemon was in her mouth, at this moment in the mouth of a cat. He tried to open her mouth, but she had her jaws clenched tightly, actually breaking a rock in two with your nails would be easier.  
  
"Damn cat," he cursed and gave her an angry stare when she purred at the tone of his voice.  
  
"Bloody woman," he cursed again just before he raised his wand-arm and conjured the spell to transfigure her into human shape again. That he should not have thought of let alone done. The embarrassment and the awkward silence that followed were downright petrifying.  
  
He was holding her, his deputy, in his arms.  
  
Their eyes met. Her adoringly green eyes sparkling like a thousands gems, a treasury to the one looking into the depths of that gaze. An ocean of emerald, waves of beauty, stars glinting with intelligence, rays of humour and something that caused his heart to sprint.  
  
So he let her go letting you to believe she was on fire, made of hot lava, and he'd just got burned.  
  
Her eyes had that insightful look that would blow his mind away.  
  
So he dropped her.  
  
"Thump," and she fell hard on the floor.  
  
"Ouch! What did you do that for," came her harsh tone from the floor. She was rubbing her sore back now, and a sour look had taken residence in her eyes.  
  
"Nothing"  
  
"Nothing! Nothing! NOTHING! WHAT DO YOU MEAN?"  
  
"It wasn't on purpose," he lied hurriedly noting her notorious temper flaring.  
  
"Wasn't on purpose! You bloody imbecile dunderhead, you dropped me willingly!"  
  
"No, I didn't"  
  
"Yes you did!"  
  
"No I didn't"  
  
"Yes"  
  
"No"  
  
"YES!"  
  
"NO!"  
  
"Aaargh, they're doing it again! Can't they argue without sounding like two kiddoes," came from the closed door.  
  
"Shhh, you stupid git, now they know we're here," came the voice of Tonks.  
  
"BOMBARDO," Dumbledore's spell hit the door with a powerful force, and now it hung at an odd angle from a single hinge.  
  
Every member from the Weasley family (save Percy), Potter, Granger, Longbottom, Lupin, Tonks, Fletcher, Moody, Snape and a couple of more Order members were watching the pair with amused expressions.  
  
"Aaaaaaaargghh! Have you no shame?"  
  
"Nope," the Weasley twins answered McGonagall, smiling at the thinning of her lips.  
  
"Fifty points from... Damn it's summer! You just wait till you get back to Hog... Damn you don't! You just wait till I tell your moth...DARN IT," she hissed shaking her fist at them.  
  
Dumbledore laughed along with the rest save Minerva.  
  
"I can't believe you! How can you laugh! This is none of their business!"  
  
"My dear, my dear, I'm sure they meant no harm. I am..."  
  
"Oh no, I sense a big speech coming," moaned Minerva rolling her eyes.  
  
"What's wrong now?" Dumbledore sounded on the verge of yelling again.  
  
"What's wrong now," McGonagall mimicked in a whining voice filled with sarcasm.  
  
Mrs. Weasley quickly pushed everyone away, whispering to Snape to repair the door. It could be pretty dangerous to stand in the doorway, if the Headmaster and Deputy started fighting again. In fact it had happened before that the fight turned to a deadly duel, at least for anyone standing in a 20 meters radius. And who knows how much they had appreciated having an audience, a deliberate 'stray' spell coming at any one of them for playing peeping tom. They hurried down to the kitchen where there at once were loudly chatter about what had happened, and wagers on who would come out on the top. Mostly of the children voted for their Headmaster, but the adults knew better about that so well known Scottish temper of a certain woman. Anyway we'll just sprint up the stairs again, for the story is about to take an interesting spin. And ground cero is upstairs with our dear professors.  
  
"Why do you always have to make me the grumpy witch with no humour? You always do it"  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Couldn't you at the least have told them off for NOT minding their own business! Huh! Give a little support! Is that too much to ask! Stop playing the laughing git, Albus Bloody Dumbledore who thinks every bloody thing is amusing! I'm bloody tired of it! You act like a bloody child! And who takes the garbage! ME! I have to go around scolding everyone, while you just smile and offer candy! Great I just say, bloody great! And that's not all, I am..."  
  
After a while he stopped listening. Especially after the word candy was thrown into the conversation – Hey wait, it wasn't a conversation, a conversation goes two ways, this was just Minerva biting off his head.  
  
He looked at her beautifully carved mouth. Her moving lips. He wondered if the taste of his precious Sherbet Lemon still lingered. Just the thought of his candy made his teeth water and his mind go crazy. Crazy for candy. He took a deep breath. There was only one way to tell.  
  
He took a step forward, and leaned in so they were standing closer than before. Before she could say another word, or worse slap him, he captured her mouth with his. He felt her go stiff beside him, her eyes widened. She wasn't running away, but on the other hand she wasn't doing anything either. She could've just as well been petrified.  
  
He deepened the kiss a little, swept his tongue inside her mouth, over her teeth. The sugary taste of the candy was still present. Sweetened by her. The wonderful taste of his precious Sherbet Le...What! This wasn't the flavour of a Sherbet Lemon! It was...  
  
"STRAWBERRY!"

=)  
**A/N:** Heh heh! I bet you saw this one coming. About the kiss, not the flavour! =) Heh heh! I couldn't just leave it out now could I? A little gift for those AD/MM shippers out there... =) Hope you like this chapter as the others. Thanks to all you wonderful reviewers, and those who just read too. You're superb! =)  
  
**Mugglemin:** Hmm well I might consider to make him find his sherbet lemon himself, wink wink, nudge nudge... =)  
  
**Catwoman99:** Yup, tickling scenes works great. Everybody likes them! =) What's better than lots and lots of silliness?  
  
**Queenie-97:** I beginning to wonder myself who'll have the last laugh. Thx for reviewing and finding chap 3 great. =)  
  
**Bookwmnjan:** Yeah, got tired of seriousness and thought why not make a story where everyone's OOC and behaving like lunatics! Besides love making stories people laugh at! =) That little comment with Albus beard made me jump of my chair, roll on the floor, laughing like a maniac =)  
  
**Daydreamer1127:** May I just say how correct you are, they're acting beyond OOC! Heh heh! Yeah it's pretty nice, besides when people are acting OOC you can do anything! Well of course this is a special candy. A sherbet lemon! I would do the same, I love candy! =)  
  
**Blacky:** Thx for reviewing! And next chapter, I promise, won't take too long =) Laughs  
  
**Portkeys Miss-Mione:** Hey mate! I'm glad you love it! =) Actually I don't know how I come up with these silly plots, but well they work, heh heh! I, too, loved the sharing part! Pretty amusing, I had a blast writing it! And yup, lots of ways to share a Sherbet Lemon! I guess a kiss is one way, too bad it wasn't the Sherbet Lemon! Hope you like this chapter! =)  
  
**Leviathan Ashes:** Heh heh! May I add that my fingers are back again, back in action! =) It just proves even intelligent people can have fun! And act like love sick teens... =)  
  
**Kelenariel Khelekkir:** Aww, glad you didn't die, that would've been a shame! Who would then review for you, =) You know what? It was on the fourth of July you reviewed, right? Because I think I might have heard someone laughing! But then again it could've just been my neighbour. I love twisting ends! I'm glad you have so much confidence in my funniness, that the ending is going to be superb, thx. =)  
  
**Kichikitsune:** Fwu-ahahahahaha, I'm overthrilled it made you laugh! And yup OOC is the point! And that candy can make you do silly things =)  
  
**Fan:** Thx for reviewing =) Nosy order! I don't know yet if the order will have more to do with MM and AD! Who knows? (I should know it, since I'm the author, but well, heh heh) =)  
  
And thanks to Star too, for reviewing =)  
  
**Pal**


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Hi again!!! =) Sorry for the 'little' wait on this chapter, but with the summer ending and school starting, I've been quite busy. It can be a bit hectic. =)

Cat – a – Strophe!

_Chapter 5_

"STRAWBERRY," the word hung like thick fog in the air, retreating back from the walls. He licked his lips – Yes, there were no mistaking the taste, the flavour, of the candy. A strawberry candy it indeed had been. The nerve of that woman! How dare she -

"SLAP"

The anger of being tricked left hurriedly when the pain of her slapping his face brought tears in his eyes.

"Ouuchh! Why did you do THAT?"

"That's for kissing me, you dim-headed mule"

Before his anger erupted at being hit by this devious woman, whom had the guts to hit him; she hit him again.

"SLAP"

His left hand went immediately to his sore cheek. The stinging of the first slap had lingered, and now it blended with the throbbing from the second slap. He didn't need a mirror to figure out that red angry spots were visible on his cheeks.

"Ouuchh woman! What was THAT for?"

"That, dear Headmaster, was for ending the kiss!"

The words left him taken aback. He opened his mouth to reply, but closed it again. This was repeated countless times, before he finally realised that he was utterly speechless. He had no clue whatsoever as to what he was to say to her. To say he was surprised by her words was by any means the understatement of the year.

Finally gathering his courage he looked up and found her starring at him with mischief in her eyes and a lopsided smile, which nearly caused him to sigh with foreboding. He realised he was walking toward his own doom. The situation was no longer for him to control. He knew the look in her eyes; she had a plan. She knew something he didn't and he hated it.

"My, my, my, I can't believe my eyes, or should I say ears! The great Albus Dumbledore is at long last not able to say anything. Not one single witty comment, not one eccentric reply, no bizarre riddles. Now there's a mystery! The cat got your tongue," she mocked him grinning from ear to ear.

Sighing again he cursed his bleeping brain. It had left him. Deserted him! And now he was doomed to watch stupidly as she mocked him. It was not fair. He was supposed to be the one teasing her, not the other way around. She was truly insufferable when in her teasing mood. Why couldn't he just say something, anything? He was beginning to wonder if she in fact had taken his tongue, conjured some spell, and bewitched him.

"Tsk tsk. The grand man defeated one of our times most vile wizard, is considered to be wise beyond words, measured to be one of the greatest wizards alive, the only one You-Know-Who fear, and yet he can't stand a little passion. Tsk tsk," she teased while fingering with his outer robes. One finger came to rest on his lower lip, slowly tracing a line down his chin, burning with fire in its path. He tried to breathe, tried to look anywhere but her. He reminded himself he was a Dumbledore, not some horny teenager. He finally managed to speak.

"Well my dear friend you seem to have truly bewitched me. Though I must say to my defence, you weren't responding very well to my little kiss there. Maybe you're the one afraid of a little passion from a wizard," he thanked Merlin for his brain coming back into action.

She threw back her head and howled with laughter. Her hands clutched her knees as she struggled to remain standing and not land on the floor. His smile faded – this was beginning to become rather discouraging.

"Really, Albus. The only intention for kissing me had nothing to do with a kiss's real intention. It was to get back what was left of your 'precious' Sherbet Lemon. Had you known I had tricked you, with putting another candy in a Sherbet Lemons wrappings, you wouldn't have kissed me, now would you?"

"I'll kiss you if you give me back the candy..." the twinklings in his eyes were back.

"Too bad it was a strawberry candy!"

"What do you mean, sweetheart," he gave her another tremendous smile.

"What would your reaction had been to – lets say – garlic flavour?"

"Horrified, my fair lady," he put on his charming smile. The one he had been practising on. It always worked on the female staff, they couldn't say no to him, to prince charming. He hadn't had the guts to use it on Minerva yet. With her begging eyes and smiles couldn't do wonders as with other normal witches and wizards. Besides her temper had to be taking into consideration too. He clearly remembered one time he had used his puppy eyes on her. He shuddered at the memory.

"Such a shame, I should have thought of it sooner! But you see, Albus, had you kissed me a little longer, I would've responded."

"I see. So the surprise petrified you into a stone statuette, my enthralling rose," he snapped his fingers and a single rose materialised out of thin air. Its yellow petals landed in her hair.

"Yes," she smiled genuinely flattered by his actions.

"So, Lady Irresistible, my Sherbet Lemon is still here, not eaten," again he snapped his fingers and a white rose appeared above her head. The white petals fell and now lay side by side with the yellow.

"Oh yes, not eaten at all," again she smiled, looking at him from under her long dark lashes.

"And where's my Sherbet Lemon's location, presently," yet again a rose appeared and its petals fell and sat in waves in her dark hair. This time the rose was violet.

"It's getting hot..."

At first he looked puzzled at her, but then he remembered a mugglegame he used to play in his younger days. One hid an object and the others were supposed to find it. The only help they got was from the person whom had hid it. When they were near the object the person would say 'It's getting hot' or if they were a long way from it 'It's getting cold'. He took a step toward her and waited for her response.

"Hotter"

He took another step, and stood right in font of her, but again he waited.

"Hotter"

A moment went by as he took some time to think through the facts. She had his candy. Somewhere on her! And she wasn't running away. Something wasn't right here. She had a plan. And he was about to walk right into her trap. He knew for sure she wouldn't just give him back the candy willingly. The other candy had been in her bra. Perhaps! Perhaps his candy was also in her bra. As the true meanings of his speculations finally hit him, he blushed deep scarlet.

Throwing away caution and his suspicion, he placed a hand on her shoulder.

She licked her lips slowly, opened her mouth and breathed 'hot' so low he almost hadn't heard.

"What next, sunflower," he asked afraid to take the next step. He felt like a teenager again, insecure about his every move.

"It's not up to me to decide"

"What do you mean, my butterfly?"

"I mean what I say. You know the game. I can't tell you where your candy is, you must find it yourself."

"You want me to strip you naked," his voice was shrill and he forgot to call her something flower-like.

A/N: Hmmm, yeah I know a bit naughty... Naughty fessors!

Thanks to my wonderful reviewers, as always, you're superb!

Catwoman99: Ohhh! Thank you SOOO much for all the praising. Yes, very sneaky of Minerva indeed. But well you kind of have too be a little wise to be sneaky, right! =)

Mugglemin: Yay too there, I really enjoyed your review too! Heh heh, yeah I'm too cunning for my own good. But hey, if you hide candy, hide it in your bra (Hmm). I'm very pleased you cackled, cos you know cackling is good. =)

x-xWebsFromAllTheSpidersx: Wow, long name =) Glad you loved it and found it funny too. It's soo satisfying to know when you write something funny, folks around the web also think it funny. Yeah I know about the 'age difference'! However they're a witch and a wizard, and have a longer lifespan than us normal humans (Not that I am normal in any way, but that's a different issue!). Hope you can ignore their ages and still read my chapters. Thx =)

Portkeys Miss-Mione: I feel I have to apologise for the LONG wait. Sorry. Hope you can forgive me? Anyways, thanks again for telling me how fantastic this story is, you can never get too much praise, now can you! Heh heh. I, just like you, find this so hilarious because they're sooo OOC. It was just one of those days when I got tired of serious stories, I thought why do something wicked! And there you go, though I think I may soon do something serious. I guess. Thx =)

Romancer 4-ever: Thank you soo much for all the splendid reviews. Marvellous. Ohh chocolate, don't mention it! I've just put myself on my own diet thingy. No eating candies save for Saturday! Bah! But hey it's Saturday tomorrow. Weee! =)

Daydreamer1127: Yup! There you got Minerva's reaction, and hey don't worry the bruises on Albus's cheeks won't be too bad. In fact he'll just do a little flipping with his wand, and voila! No bruises. Thanks =)

And thanks also to Elena =)

I hope you look forward to next chapter, where Minerva reveals her inner Slytherin. Heh heh!

Pal =)


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:** I know I prob'ly ain't right about the jobs concerning Dumbly. But hey this was OOC from the start, why should it start being right/serious now!

**Cat – a – Strophe**!

_Chapter 6_

She laughed again: "Maybe the real question you should be asking yourself is: do you want to strip me naked?"

"I – I – you should be – what I mean is that – what are you -"

"Shhh," she took his arm and directed him towards the bed. Sitting him down, she placed one knee beside him on the left, and the other knee on the right.

"Minerva?!"

"Lean back and close your eyes," he obeyed without questioning, he knew that tone. It was either doing as told or getting skinned alive. He preferred the first option. He felt the pressure of her weight on his stomach as she sat on him gently.

He opened his eyes reluctant, and was met by a scolding stare.

"Did I not tell you to close your eyes? Don't open them without my say-so, okay?"

"Yes Madam," he grinned, closed his eyes yet again, and wondered what would happen next. He squished his eyes tight and waited apprehensively. Nothing happened. He waited a few minutes longer, yet nothing happened.

About to speak, her slender hand closed itself around his mouth. After a minute or so, she spoke.

"C'mon Albie, open your eyes!"

Obeying her orders he gasped at what awaited his sight. She was sitting with a smug expression, her wand pointing at his nose. He swallowed.

"What are you going to do now, Minerva?"

"Wouldn't you like to know," grinning again she teased him with her unoccupied hand, letting it slowly wander around in circles, caressing his chest.

"Okay, Miss McGonagall! You just remember who's sending your paycheck when you point that wand of yours."

"Or what? – You'll sack me!"

"Yes!"

"You wouldn't dare old man!"

"I seem to be quoting myself, however '_Watch me_'"

"Tsk tsk! And where, pray tell, would you find a new Transfiguration teacher?"

"Easy enough! They practically hang on trees," he laughed but winced when she dug a finger in his ribcage.

"Oh yeah, and what would you do when I jinx the job, like someone did with Defence Against the Dark Arts?"

"I would of course undo the jinx," his answer was met by hysterical laughter.

"Undo the jinx – I think not!"

"Why?"

"Why not undo the curse surrounding Defence Against the Dark Arts, then?"

"You know I can't!"

"Then of course you can't undo my curse either!"

"You _seem_ to have a point!"

"I am always correct," she smirked at him, tugging at his beard playfully.

"I have to correct that, I said _seem_! Just because I can't undo one curse, would not mean I can't undo yours!"

"Alright, Mr. Smarty Pants! Then why, for Merlin's sake, can't you undo the DADA curse?"

"I seemed to have lost the memory of what I did when I conjured the curse!"

"I beg your pardon?!"

"It was I, whom made the job jinxed!"

"I sincerely hope by the salvation of my soul that you're joking!"

"I'm afraid not, Minerva"

"You're the reason no one's been teaching Defence Against the Dark Arts in no longer than eight years in a row," she exclaimed, her eyes round like saucers.

"Obviously!"

"I can't believe you, how did that happen?"

"I can't remember," he sighed. That was true; he had tried everything but always ended up with nothing. He could not remember why he jinxed the job; only that he was the one jinxing it.

"Old man, indeed," she shook her head at his foolishness.

"No I am not! That's the only thing in my one-hundred and fifty-one-life I can't remember! And I think I've figured out why," he defended himself.

"And..."

"And I think I jinxed it so, I wouldn't remember how or the why!"

"That's utterly sad – don't you think so?"

"What's sad?"

"You jinxing a job so you won't remember why you did it or how to undo it! You were Transfiguration teacher before Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, right! You went right from the DADA post to Headmaster, right!"

"Yes, you were there, _remember_!"

"It was a statement! Why would you jinx a job for the benefit of causing yourself more trouble in the future as the new Headmaster?"

"I often speculate about it, yet I never find an answer," he smiled at her. She was more or less relaxed her wand arm about to lower any minute. He didn't like the idea of her pointing it at him, he was quite sure anything she had in mind for him was horrible. Heinous actually!

"Anyways, dear Headmaster, enough with jinxed jobs! We have some unfinished business!"

He cursed under his breath, she hadn't forgotten, and her wand was now again pointing directly at his nose. Darn woman!

"Can't we make a deal, my dear?"

"Sorry... but no! I've been looking forward to this since I got the idea, I wouldn't want to miss it for the world!"

"But – But – "

He didn't get further, and he held his breath as she leaned down. Wondering about what would happen to him next was the only thing on his mind. Though he forgot momentarily when she leaned nearer and kissed the tip of his nose.

"I hope you taste as good as you look," she whispered. He stared perplexed at her, but did not get the time to ponder the words before she raised her wand and muttered something he couldn't hear. Then there was a yellow light. And then...

Then everything grew and got bigger. And he felt a weird tingle running through his body.

_What!_

An enormous pair of emerald eyes starring down from above surprised him. Trying to speak, he found that the only sound escaping his mouth was a pierce squeak.

And then a voice boomed in the room, nearly destroying his eardrums. He recognised it as belonging to Minerva.

"You look cute as a mouse; did you know that, Albus? But I suppose you would look better from another view," she transformed into to her animagusform.

Albus couldn't believe it! The bloody witch had transfigured him into a mouse! A bloody mouse! He nearly squealed with fright when he looked at her again. Instead of his deputy was a gigantic cat?

And he was a mouse!

Cat... Mouse...

CAT – MOUSE!

He yelped and began sprinting, trying to reassure himself. Of course she wouldn't dare to eat him, of course not!

But he ran for his life nonetheless...

=)

**A/N:** Wow! That was outright silly! But fun to write, heh heh! Cat after mouse! Now that's fun!

And you brilliant reviewers, you flatter me too much... Keep It Coming, heh heh!

**Bookwmnjan:** That's a serious problem! The sherbet lemon melting! It would be a humungous problem, if they were muggles. Heh heh! Long live witchcraft and wizardry! Thanks =)

**Portkeys Miss-Mione:** (Cheeks red, face blushing) Ohh, so many thanks for that wonderful comment! The word 'Genius' made wonders, and got me working on chapter 6 =) I am soo glad you got a little inspired, because laughing is good, and we all need it. And I must say your stories are fabulous funny too!!! Please continue to tell me to get those long fingers working on some chapter, because that's just good. And that way I know I have to hurry up a little, so not to disappoint you all. =) Thanks again, superb reviewer!!! =)

**Talons:** Actually crying in laughter! Wow, I must be good! Heh heh! Hope chapter 6 was just as 'tearsome' as 5! Thanks =)

**Ichigos:** Thanks, your comment made me laugh ('this is hella funny!'), heh heh =)

**Romancer 4-ever:** Arrrrrggggghhhh! You Mean little... (Double chocolate chip biscuit!!!! Drooling like Homer S!!!) But then again, I was pretty cruel, wasn't I!! Heh heh!! But hey, I thought perfect cliffie! Mwu-ahaha! And yes I agree, soooo many possibilities to that ending! I rather like the ending line too! But I guess this ending is cruel too, Ohh, I am soo evil! =)

**Catwoman99:** Thanks, and yeess things certainly are heating up! I guess she could get slyer than just transforming him into a mouse, but hey she's got some future chapters to do something meaner in! If I let her! Let's wait and see, shall we. Who knows, maybe it's Albus's turn to be evil!! Thanks again =)

**Morgana-Alex:** Yeah I left it there; I couldn't resist, and besides the line was too perfect! So was the 'mouse thingy' slytherin enough, or maybe a bit too softie!!?? Thanks =)

**Angeldust-aka-Evilwoman:** Tee hee hee! Thanks, =) Is this soon enough? (My own opinion would be 'no', but perhaps others think the waiting is okay...Anyone? ... No, I guess not!) Heh heh =)

**Sevi:** Yay, Minnie is sooo bad, and rather bad in this chapter too! Wow! Here it is, the next chapter! Hope you like it, thanks =)

**Petriebird18:** Thanks, I hope this chapter lives up to your expectations! =)

**Elena:** Yup, funny things! Or more like Oh-good-heavens-I'm-dying-of-laughter-and-can't-breathe-because-of –the-lack of-oxygen-in-this-bloody-little-room! Heh heh, at least I hope it'll be funny in the future! Thanks, =)

**Leviathan Ashes:** Well watching kids can be rather exhilarating, though also kinda tiring in the long run, I have to admit! But hey, then I just have to change them! From kids to...Mouse and cat! Ta ta ta da!!! Thanks =)

**Cecikun:** Lol!!! Heh heh, yeah it's a bit funnier when people starts acting evilly, isn't it! Thank you for the comment on the interacting part, thanks =) Hope you like this!

**_Pal =)_**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N:** Yeah I know this took a while! When Albus is mouse the "..." means he thinks it, as he can't talk aloud as a mouse.

**Warning:** Beware, this contains an insanely story and could produce a rather irresistible urge to fall asleep, especially in this absolutely dull chapter. If you do fall asleep, feel free to give the author a little review on it and she'll put an antidrowsiness charm on her next chapter.

**Cat – a – Strophe!**

_Chapter 7_

'Aaaaaaaarrrrrrggghhhh' was the only thing on his mind. That and where to find his safe haven. An escape way was all he needed and was very much appreciated right now. He was beginning to panic he knew, but who wouldn't with a cat at their heels. And not any normal regular cat. No! This one was sly and sadistic. Very Sadistic!

'Where to hide? C'mon, think! Before you end up in her claws!'

Squealing he ran down the stairs clumsily and headed for the door to the kitchen. He was hoping for someone nice and with a heart. And if he was lucky half of the Order would work wonders. They would surely take his side. Grinning as only a mouse can he ran headfirst directly into the door.

"BANG!"

'DRAT IT! I'M DOOMED!'

Shaking his head a little all the black spots and flying evilly cats disappeared and he realised that he had forgotten he couldn't open the door. Quickly he spun around and found the sadistic Minerva nowhere in sight.

'That's odd! I swear I heard her paws on the floor just behind me only minutes ago! Why would she hide from me?'

A squeaking sound made Albus jump five centimetres into the air and it was so he realised his luck was finally starting to catch up. Someone was opening the door into the kitchen, which presumably would be full of Order people.

He moved to the side and just nearly got trampled over by an enormous pair of shoes, skirting the shoes he darted inside and was relieved beyond explanation. He was finally safe. Now all he had to do was to get someone's attention. If he hadn't been a mouse he would've hummed a triumph tune, but since he lacked the gift of language he just squeaked a little.

Looking around he saw several pairs of familiar shoes! One pair looked like... Hey wait, he knew that shoes. If he was not mistaken, they belonged to dear Alastor. Finally an ally...

"Meeeooww..."

'UH OH!'

))))))))))))))))))))

"Anyone up for wizard chess," Ron asked his friends.

"Sure," Harry answered as the only one. The others were busy gossiping about what had happened upstairs.

While Ron ran upstairs to fetch the board, Harry leaned across the table. He wanted to hear just exactly what was so intriguing about Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall's quarrel.

"It's been awfully quiet up there; do you think they've declared truce?"

"Well, Ginny, I think not. Try imagining McGonagall declaring truce about anything! I think she'll just continue to argue until Dumbledore apologise," quipped Fred.

"Hear, hear! I must say brother you took the words straight from my mouth," agreed George.

"Earnestly you two! I think they've stopped quarrelling," Bill said surprising them when he sat down on a chair and joined their little group.

"Why were they quarrelling in the first place? Didn't you find it odd?"

"Yes, rather strange! I mean I haven't in all my time at Hogwarts heard those two disagree about anything, and that's saying a lot," Charlie had joined too.

"I have, sort of," Harry decided to take part in the very weird conversation.

"Tell us, c'mon Harry!"

"S'pose I might as well join you too," Moody settled himself across from Harry and stared at him with both eyes. The others glanced nervously at Moody occasionally though they did not tell him to go either.

"Well there was that time in our fourth year, in the hospital wing just after... you know..."

"What about it?"

"Yeah, spit it out, Harry!"

"Well, Dumbledore was just a bit disappointed in McGonagall, and she was angry and yelled. Not a big thing, rather minor! I don't really think it was an argument, but I guess it's the closest thing I've seen to a really fight!"

"Of course you kids haven't seen them actually arguing, before now! They act very professionally at work," Moody growled, then coughed and coughed until Bill dunked his back.

"Thanks," he then croaked and sneezed.

"God bless you," Harry couldn't help saying. They all stared at him with mixed expressions. Hermione of course knew what it meant, but the others eyes were blank.

"What didya say, again Potter?"

"Um... I erm... Well I meant to –"

"He meant, Merlin bless you, professor Moody," Hermione interrupted.

Everyone's mouth formed a big 'O' as they finally understood.

"Where were we...?"

"Aaaaaaarrgghh!!!" Mrs. Weasley screamed, for at that precise moment a mouse decided to jump up on the kitchen table (Of course it didn't just jump up as it would be quite impossible for such a small mouse, but as any wizard when under extreme stress and fear, the mouse too did the impossible and jumped up on the table. But being half animal, half wizard the jumping was in extreme slow-motion, so therefore Mrs. Weasley spotted the mouse, also known as Albus Dumbledore to certain smart readers of this).

"Aaarghhh"

"Eeewww"

"Aaaaddrrrrr"

"Stop it, stop it, anything!"

"Kill it, kill it!!!"

Only a half second later a grey blur also jumped up on the table pursuing the frightened mouse. Everyone present at the table scrambled back, as dishes and cups flew everywhere.

"GET THAT THING OUT OF THE KITCHEN," shrieked Mrs. Weasley standing on a chair a few metres away.

Moody taking her orders literally, swung his wand in a circle sending a powerful hex after the two animals. Unfortunately for him, though fortunately for Minerva and Albus, he missed.

"Kill them, kill them... Stew them, stew them... Put them on a stove, and boil them in their own fat..." Ron started singing taking no notice of the death stare he was receiving from Hermione.

Finally succeeding with his magic Moody hit the two poor animals.

"POOF"

There was a purple blinding light, and an air cracking sound, and then the kitchen was enclosed in pink fog. As the fog lifted several people gasped at the sight that awaited them, others sniggered.

"Headmaster? Professor McGonagall," exclaimed Hermione loudly.

For it was those two lying quite dazed at the table, trying to figure out what had hit them!

"Hahaha..."

"Hi-hi-hi-hi..."

"Heh – heh," people started laughing out loud, pointing their fingers at the confused and odd couple now sitting on the table, their arms and legs entangled in some weird puzzle.

Minerva finally came around to being herself, and she stared annoyingly at some of her students and former students laughing not with her, but at her!

"WHAT ON EARTH IS SO FUNNY," she screamed outrageously.

"Calm down, Minerva! I'm sure nothing's wrong; they're probably only laughing at you chasing me in cat-form..."

"Oh shut it, you old bugger!"

"Hmph, whom pissed on your breakfast!"

"Some old white-haired wizard..."

"The nerve of some woman," Dumbledore mumbled to himself, though not loud enough for the bad-tempered Minerva to hear.

Mrs. Weasley decided to tell the two professors the truth, "Minerva, Headmaster, the reason we're laughing is because... because..." she couldn't keep a straight face and burst into a fit of giggles.

"Because..." asked Albus.

"Try to take a look at yourself, mate," Ron finally blurted out, and then put his hand in his mouth again to stop from laughing.

Minerva and Albus both looked down at themselves, and saw to their horror the most hideous thing in their life. Both clasped their hands before their eyes and exploded in frenzied screaming, easily competing with a veelas!

"AAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!?!?!?!?!"

What was this madness?

))))))))))))))))

**A/N:** Heh heh, I'm getting good at these bloody annoying cliff-hangers!!! Sorry, but I find it quite amusing... And I hope you find this remotely okay, I know it's not as funny as usual, but I've been extremely busy and I thought something was better than nothing...

And MUCHO thanks to all you wonderful reviewers.

**Portkeys Miss-Mione**: Hah-hah-hah! Tom and Jerry, it didn't even cross my mind! Hmm, that's a rather fun possibility. It could have some rather hilarious scenes. Heh heh. I think I might consider something Jerry and Tom-ish! Oh, and I do hope you will work it out with living your peaceful life, huh! )

**Intelligent Witch:** You've got to be kidding, right! YOUR LAST NAME SIMPSON!? Huh, what a coincidence! Heh heh! Well yes, you're evil! But hey, it's so much easier and funnier to be evil, right! Mwu-ahahahaha... )

**Leviathan Ashes:** I never meant it to be nice, heh heh! ) Besides I love bringing my character through hell, )

**Catwoman99:** Yup, the chase is on again, and what's funnier than a good chase, lol! I might decide to let Minerva eat him, but I guess it would be violating Albus, right! )

**Mugglemin**: Thanks, for the flattering comment about me being nuts! I'm a weirdo and utterly proud of it, ) See yah, hope you're not still on the run... Cos that gotta be a long run, then... Just kidding, )

**CheddarTrek:** Don't you just love parodies, I do!!! ) Hope you continue to think this is as insanely fun as ever... )

**Angeldust-aka-Evilwoman:** I know you wrote 'update soon', and I apologise for the really LONG wait, ups! )

**Love'n Hate:** Hey there, my special thanks for all the wonderful reviews you've left me. I mean I just logged in, and found this really lovely person had left me a bunch of reviews, thankssssss amigo... )

**_Pal_**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N:** This is pretty short, but I hope you'll find it funny anyway. Besides I'm soon travelling 'Down Under' (Australia) for some time, so if the updates are exceptionally long, that's because! Enjoy... )

**Cat – a – Strophe!**

_Chapter 8_

It surely was madness, beyond madness!

After an unknown period of screaming in horror, Minerva buried her head in her hands while trying to block out the so well-known laughter coming from beside her, for Albus Dumbledore was done screaming and was now on the edge of weeping with laughter.

After a time of being horrified by the image of himself in that... ahem outfit – Albus found it quite amusing. In fact it was rather comical. He knew though that Minerva would quite possible never find it amusing, perhaps a few years later, but definitely not before. She hated being laughed at, or humiliated, even though it was in a friendly way.

"Minerva..."

No response.

"Minerva, it's not as hideous as it looks..."

Still no response.

Putting an arm around her he whispered in her ear: "What's wrong, dear?"

"What do you think, stupid? This is most possibly the worst day of my life," she mumbled, "Can't you disappear me, or do me invisible," she then pleaded, still not looking up from her hands.

"I'm afraid not"

"Of course you can, you're just enjoying this too much for your own good," she hissed.

"Grumpy witch!"

"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME," she stormed, and was finally looking up from her hideout, the fury evident in her eyes.

"Nothing, my dear," Albus hurried to say his face paling.

"Don't you give me that innocent look, I heard you correctly, OLD CRACKPOT!"

"Crackpot?"

"Yes, you blasted chunk of shit!"

"WHO ARE YOU? AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MINERVA MCGONAGALL?"

"Ha-ha," she half-laughed in dark sarcasm.

"You started it yourself, self-absorbed amoeba!"

And that was how 'The Lethal Death Starring Contest' started between The Headmaster and his deputy of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

Having followed the conversation discreetly, the Order sighed, as yet again the two great magicians started to call each other rude names.

"Oh crap, here we go again," stated Lupin and went out of the kitchen, the rest followed him, leaving Minerva and Albus alone.

They were still starring furiously at each other waiting for the other to blink, unfortunately for us; they were both Masters in the ability to stare a person to death, so naturally the contest lasted a 'long' while. Therefore we just skip a little ahead in the story...

Further...

It suddenly 'clicked' for Minerva, not because Albus was making some shrewd face, or that she had to blink with her eyes. No, this was something altogether different. For as she had been starring at him trying to think of the worst way to torture him, she had noticed their outfits again; his outfit. She tried to keep a straight face as bubbles of laughter were trying to creep out of her mouth. She was unsuccessful.

"Oh Merlin – HAR-HAR HAR-HAR..."

Not feeling slightly happy over winning the starring contest, Albus wondered what on earth had made Minerva McGonagall laugh that uncontrollable. It quite bugged him.

"OH GOD!"

"No, it's A-L-B-U-S, not G-O-D," he quipped, feeling his funny moods returning. He couldn't help grinning like, indeed, an old crackpot fool.

It didn't help.

"Do – ha-ha – I look like – ha-ha – that," she managed between hysterical laughing.

"Like what?" He thought she had finally cracked, as he had no clue whatsoever to her enquiry.

His question was answered by a series of giggling.

"Albus, the bunny, Dumbledore... HAR-HAR..."

"No, you look more ridiculous," he answered; now knowing she was referring to their bunny costumes.

For Moody had indeed with his spell transformed their clothing into a pink bunny costume. It looked extraordinarily silly.

Minerva's laughter began to grow on Albus, and the next moment he found himself bubbling with laughter too, lying on the table next to his deputy. This was ludicrous! Strange madness!

He found himself thinking of how utterly mad this day had been up till now, and he wondered...

Hey Wait A Tick!

"MINERVA ELLYDION MCGONAGALL, WHERE'S MY SHERBET LEMON!!!"

)))))))))))))

**A/N: **Yup, as I said at the top, this is rather short, but I hope you like it. And the next chapter will probably take a very very very long time. But if it does, I'll promise you it will be really long and funny.

**Portkeys Miss-Mione:** You hereby have my sincerely apologies for ending this chapter with yet another cliffy. Sorry. I'll try my best to write another chapter as quickly as possible but since I don't know how often I'll have a computer to write on, and I'm travelling around, sightseeing, I think it's gonna take some time. )

**Elena:** They're of course laughing at those ridiculous bunny costumes. Heh heh, I would laugh too.

**Ennui-EAF:** Can I put ten sickles on the professor from Scotland too, can I? Heh heh heh, nobody can resist McGonagall stares pointedly )

**TheNash:** Thanks. I love making people laugh. )

**Banana Princess:** Lmao. You know, the "WOMAN! GET BACK IN HERE WITH MY SHERBET LEMON!" is absolutely one of my favourites too. Heh heh heh. I hope you like this small chapter too. )

**Intelligent Witch:** Thanks, for not falling asleep, ) Heh heh, that line about you've gotten to a stage where you can read almost anything, made me laugh for mere hours. Cya )

**Ginger newts:** Of course it's OOC, every parodies are, heh heh heh. About them ending up together... as one of favourites authors always says, Read and find out! Heh heh heh, but I could give you a little hint... They might. Or they might not. Who knows... (Aren't I supposed to know!!!) )

**Mugglemin:** Mugglemin, mugglemin, mugglemin... I totally took it as a compliment when you said I was nut. Tell me I'm evil, and I'll be flattered ) The capital of Estonia, huh! So, are they treating you nicely? You know what? Reading your review made me laugh so loud I swear someone phoned from fifty miles away to tell me, to shut up! Drunk! Heh heh heh! I bet chapter 7 was particularly funny then. Stares pointedly I guess in your 'tipsy' stage you might have thought they were perhaps, naked! Heh heh heh! I actually considered it, but then the pink bunny costumes invaded my mind and I was bought. Have a good time, cya, )

**Leviathan Ashes:** Funny, but cruel! I like that. Well I guess now I'm evil, but funny! Yet another cliffy, and the next chapter will take long... It even makes me sad...

**Angeldust-aka-Evilwoman:** Thanks, )

**Pal )**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N:** Yaaay, finally, huh! I know, I know, it's been eons since I last posted on

this story, so sorry, you have my permission to flame me on the horrible lateness.

**Cat – a – Strophe!**

_Chapter 9_

"MINERVA ELLYDION MCGONAGALL, WHERE'S MY SHERBET LEMON!"

Now, you may think that all this leads to yet another hilarious chase, where either Minerva or Albus has to run after each other like mad teens with off course hormones…

…If so, you're quite right. For who gets tired of running around like chickens trying to catch one another?

There is only one small tiny problemo for our dear professors…

"_Aarrrgh, why can't I run in this damn costume,_" Minerva screamed in frustration as she trotted some meters ahead of Albus, a bead of sweat trickling down her eyebrow. The whole garment was getting on her nerves, it wasn't easy to move around in, very big, clumsy and hot, and running in it was like trying to run in water, only with a really great current.

"_What…are…you…phew…yelling…for?_" Obviously Albus had trouble breathing in the thing too.

"_I was saying… Ooouuch!_" Minerva had tried to run and look behind at the same time, and therefore didn't see the big nasty wood door in front of her. She collapsed like a sack of potatoes on the floor, her arms and legs sticking out to all sides in a very spaghetti-like manner.

Albus quickly ran over to her, bent down, and took her pink bunny-hand.

"_Minerva?"_

A small groan was all he got as a response.

"_Minerva, can you hear me?_"

"_Who jinxed the light,_" she mumbled rather incoherently, luckily for Albus he was rather used to his brother's mad ramblings.

"_Nobody... you ran straight at the door and collapsed, dear._"

After a couple of seconds lying on the floor not really seeing anything but blackness, Minerva finally had her vision back, if not a bit disturbed by a few black spots here and there. She pushed herself into a slight sitting position with her elbow, rubbing her other hand gently at her sore head.

"_Ouuuvv,_" she groaned, trying to cling to Albus as he straightened and stood up. The world spun for while, and she thought she might collapse again. This day would definitely go down as worst possible day in her calendar. Why didn't everything go as planned!

"_I saw a muggle menagerie once, with one of these clauns with a painted face and all, I've never seen anyone run into a door so hilariously before, you most surely qualify,_" Albus giggled.

"_Don't make me crucio you, Dumbledore,_" she warned giving a sickly smile, his stomach started fluttering, he remembered a rather dark section of her personal library.

"_Before you so much as touched your wand I would have charmed you, my dear!_"

"_With your charms?"_

"_Yes, with my charming ways you would be smiling sweetly at me, fetching my wine for me, admiring how great I truly am…"_ He looked at her smugly; he did not even have the decency to back down when she lifted a delicate eyebrow.

"_With you charms! Pah!"_

"_Pah yourself! I am better than Prince Charming himself!"_

"_Albus, for Merlins sake! You couldn't charm a stone, let alone anybody else for that matter!"_

"_I once read this most exciting book, about charms,"_ he paused deliberately, to let it sink in, as if he was a glorious storyteller and her a little nine year old lass.

"_YOU CAN READ!"_

"_Bah! Anyways, there was this horrible charm to make the victim quite, how shall I say it, submissive, lovepotion ala with a flick of my hand…"_ he stopped with a devilish glint in his eyes; he had made 'horrible' sound too sweet.

"_I know the counterspell,"_ she said with a rueful smile, loving the way his lit eyes wavered. She hoped he wouldn't recognise the lie. He had that dreadful knowing of when you were lying. She schooled her face to calmness and knowledge.

"_Do you now?"_

"_Yes, quite an interesting book, but far by, what shall we say, it lacked a couple of very fascinating spells, charms and jinxes,"_ she hoped he had been snooping around her library, she was certain, and if he had he would have remembered some of the dreadful titles, and worse, their contexts.

"_Ah, well, you always were the bookworm, of us two,"_ he stated regally.

"_Exactly, so if there's going to be any charming here, let me assure that it will be me, who comes out wearing a smug smile, and your Sherbet lemon in my mouth,"_ before he could respond she was gone in a twirl of pink.

"_Darn woman!"_ She had done it again, making conversation, and then just disappearing. If she wanted it that way, he could be sneaky too, chuckling he also disappeared in a twirl of pink.

Neither of the two had remembered their pink bunny costumes, had simply forgotten them for a time, even though a simple flick, and their normal everyday robes would be back on.

He landed on soft grass, fields of green rolling away into the horizon, lined with a few trees here and there. The sun was not that high up yet, its pale light pleasant, but not warm. He looked around; struggling not to trip over himself and fall, the costume was too clumsy for him. Spotting the tangled forest behind him, he had a vague feeling she would be in there somewhere. Would it be a trap? Or didn't she think he could track her anywhere? He counted on the first; she was too smart otherwise, so with caution, he trotted into the trees.

Mostly he walked in the shade of the big oaks, pine and birch, but occasionally a beam of sun would warm his face for a mere second or more. The deeper he went, the more the place seemed desolate, even the cheering chatter from birds couldn't help the feeling of an ancient deserted place. So deep in thought, in looking everywhere at once, he stumbled suddenly, and fell.

"_Merlin!"_

He looked over his shoulder, and saw a small stone boulder; he definitely hadn't thought was there. Weird place! He stood up, dusted the dirt from his pink fluffy knees, spat at the ground. If he wasn't mistaking, he had probably just swallowed a bucket of dirt. Looking back again, the boulder was gone… What! But instead of the small stone, there lay a silvery wrapped square. He bent down and picked it up. What!

"_Minerva, you sly fox! I know you're out there! Show yourself!"_ No one answered, except for a bit of fluttering of wings. He grinned, unwrapped the little silvery thing, and popped the candy in his mouth. A sweet and at the same time sour taste filled his mouth with joy, and he reminded himself to ask her, where she had found a coffee candy.

Moving on, he knew she was waiting for him somewhere, and he was doing exactly as she wanted. But hey, she was giving away sweets; maybe she would give him the Sherbet Lemon, he reckoned.

Walking with a bounce in his steps, he started humming a toneless song, quite the merry one.

And then out of nowhere something hit him on the top of his head, he spun around, his bunny ears bouncing back and forth. Nothing there. Rather annoyed he turned around and noticed the candy before his feet. He picked it up, studied it a bit, unwrapped it, and without further care put it into his mouth.

It tasted of new spring, the fresh mint mingling with something spicy. His lips curled upwards in a delightful smile – That Woman! She would both smile and berate you at the same time, while expecting you to listen closely to every word she was lecturing. Sly, she was. Whatever she was planning, he was both looking forward to, and dreading it.

After a two dozen paces a bright light appeared out of nowhere, just two inches from his nose, startled he threw his arms up for protection, forgetting his wizard talents for a small second, but before reaching his wand, it was gone. And in its stead hung a candy.

He grinned shyly; he should have expected something, especially after the two other sweets.

Picking it up, he started walking again, his face an entire smile; he popped the greenish candy in his mouth.

And nearly choked on it, but spat it out on the ground hastily.

"_AAargh! What a flaming foul tasting…"_ he succumbed to a series of low muttered curses, directed at the candy and a certain woman, a certain jobless woman. What was she thinking, spoiling a candy, and his mood, in such a vile way!

"_Tsk, tsk! Such language, Albus Dumbledore. One should think your mother taught you better!"_

Lifting his head to the sound of her voice, his nose brushed against hers, and he looked into a pair of amused emerald eyes.

"_I speak as I like!"_

"_I heard!"_

Was that laughter in her voice? No it couldn't be! What was so funny? He legs started trembling, just slightly, and he couldn't really focus, was that really Minerva laughing in the distance? Blackness started creeping around him, ruining his sight at the edges. A sudden dreadful stone seemed to bounce up and down in the pit of his stomach, what had she done?

"_What have you done, you wicked woman? I swear when I get my hands…"_ Further he didn't get as he collapsed and was swept away in blackness and emptiness. One thought remained though, remained with that sweet laughter of hers.

The bloody woman _drugged_ me! That bloody _witch_ bloody well knocked me out! He should have bloody known not to eat bloody _green_ candy.

**A/N:** Well, I must say I'm really in an ecstatic mood, considering all the really wonderful reviews. Thank you so much everyone… And so sorry for the long wait again. I hope this chapter helps a bit, and that you enjoyed it.

**Tabby Bee:** If I told you what happens, it wouldn't really be that funny, heh heh. I'm glad you liked This is not Happening, thx )

**Angeldust-aka-Evilwoman:** Thx, I was like thinking of a hilarious suit, and it just popped up, PINK BUNNIES! It had me laughing quite a bit.

**TabbyKit:** Sure, I couldn't really let the story hang around unfinished, could I! ) I'm very happy it brightened up a sad day, I love making people laugh, thx for all the wonderful reviews and compliments. )

**Mugglemin:** I'm very good at twisting it, heh heh, I love surprising ends. I really enjoyed my trip to Australia, it was awesome. I'm just a bit sad, I'm already home again, Bah! ) I hope you enjoyed this chapter, thx for the review )

**Quill of Minerva:**Yaay, another update… though extremely late in coming… Heh heh, I guess it will take another couple of chapters before it'll actually be finished…Ang sents you the stories on your phone, phew! That's amazing, and rather cool, eh! Thx, for the long and lovely review, )

**Banana Princess:** That's right, Albus does tend to forget, not slow, he just keeps forgetting about his precious candy… heh heh. I'm happy you liked it, hope you liked chapter 9 as well, thx for the review )

**Intelligent Witch:** Thx, ) I'm glad I you laughed like mad, that's the point, heh heh. Yaay, aussie was great, so sad I'm not there anymore… sniffs I lived in Burrawang, 1 hour and a half from Sydney, it was so fun! Yup, I saw the weird big fat rock in the middle of nowhere… and Great Ocean Road, Cairns, and other cool stuff. I hope you like this chapter, and thanks for the very long wonderful review, made me laugh, you describing how much you laughed… )

**Ennui-EAF:** A Christmas Story, I can't say I have… But it sounds familiar! ) Thx, )

**Portkeys Miss-Mione:** IF you still I'm one of the fastest updaters, I'm overwhelmed… Heh heh, I used to be perhaps…) Thx so much for all the divine compliments, I'm blushing now! Well, at least it didn't take a whole year, close to though, bah! )

**JoanneM:** Hi, well I hope you enjoyed this chapter too, and thank you so much for reviewing, it's really nice with lots of reviews, )

**Ellen Arden:** Thx, I would really love to see how this ends too, I have no idea yet… )

**Augusta:** I'm sure he never gives up, to give up is to surrender… ) I hope you like this chapter )

**Talons:** Any means to regain his sweet, exactly! Lets hope he does regain it before Minerva eats it, heh heh. Thx )

**Puppyheart:** Thx )

**Lady Urguentha:** Thx )

**Gothic Minerva:** J.K definite wouldn't allow that… ) Heh heh, thx, I'm happy I made you laugh.

**TartanLioness:** A late Merry Christmas to you too, Tar! Can I call you Tar? I don't have arto, sorry, but I have an old dusty account on netdating.dk, ) Thx so much for the review… So how do you like our fine weather in dk? Heh heh )

**MooseDeEvita:** Well, since I got two lovely reviews I won't sent a hex via e-mail then. ) Thx

**Lady-jolly:** Thx, I hope you enjoy this chapter )

**Rikki8879:** Tears of laughter, huh! Phew, I must be awesome! ) I hope you like chapter 9 too, thx.

**ADandMM4eva:** Long waiting on the update, huh! I'll try to be quicker with the next, heh heh, thx)

**Kelenariel Khelekkir:** Wow, trice! What a treat, huh! National Talk Like A Pirate Day! Blood and bloody ashes! What's that? Thx for the review, hope you liked this chapter, even with long update, )

**Elena:** Thz, )

See you, hopefully not so long this time,

**Pal**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: **I had a bit of trouble writing this... Hope you likey? Enjoy…)

**Cat – a – Strophe!**

_Chapter 10_

Something was rumbling somewhere off to his left. He couldn't see yet, but at least he was conscious of his surroundings, 'aware like a blind', he muttered under his breath. He was lying rather roughly on sand, where on earth was he? And the warm air trickled his skin. A bird – a gull? – screeched in the distant. The air smelled of… salt?

What was he doing on a beach? Was that the ocean rumbling somewhere off to his left?

He felt her long before he heard her crunching footsteps, he felt he could almost feel her looming shadow.

_"Well, well. Starting to come back, are we?"_

_"Minerva, you're in so much trouble, if I were you I would be afraid just to breathe…"_ he threatened dangerously, he was getting tired of this game of theirs. Of course, she didn't follow the rules either; he had such an urge to 'do' something horrible to her.

_"Albus, dear, now do not do anything hasty you will regret later…"_

_"I'll regret if I don't take a swing at you with my wand, I'll regret not strangling you on the spot, I'll regret not…"_

Something heavy sat itself on his stomach, wriggling a bit, and then Minerva poked her finger at his chest: _"Now, Mister, don't jump to any hasty conclusions, and may I remind you who's on top!"_

_"Isn't it enough you have me blinded, or do you have to ruin my breathing! You know, you're not exactly weightless!"_

"_Take that back, you worseless pile of hippogriff crab,"_ her voice lowered but still her quiet voice felt like accusing screaming.

_"Sorry, dear little weightless leaf,"_ he mocked her, cursing himself for his stupid Gryffindor courage, why couldn't he just shut up.

"_Albus, will you please just shut up, I'm trying to get your sight back, or do you prefer lying here for the rest of you petty life,"_ her voice held something different now, perhaps a smile, and he felt her fingertips on his eyelids "_now, count to thirteen, think of your favourite flower, and then count to thirteen again."_

He did as instructed, finding it ridiculous, and opened his eyes when she told him to.

The sunlight burned sharp into his eyes, painfully he jumped up, ran around in circles, waving his arms around in flapping gestures.

Minerva watched him from a position in the sand, where he had pushed her away. She cheeked her watch after a little time, and returned to watching him. After fifteen minutes of this mad chicken imitation, she decided she had had enough.

_"Albus!"_

_"Aaarrgh!"_

_"ALBUS!"_

_"Aaaarrrggh!"_

_"A-L-B-U-S!"_

_"Aaaarrgggh, I'm dying…"_

_"ALBUS DUMBLDORE!"_

_"Aaaaarrgggh, I'm faaaading, I'm dyyyeing…"_

_"ALBUS PERCIVAL WULFRIC BRIAN DUMBLEDORE!"_

_"Waaaaaaaaaah…"_

_"SHERBET LEMON,"_ that got his attention, finally!

_"Where?"_

_"Nowhere, you-you slumbering … CARROT,"_ she snapped at him. Typically, the only thing that man was interested in was his belly!

"_Well, you lying little piece of…flower, heh heh, so Minerva, have I ever told how much I appreciate you?"_

_"What do you want?"_

_"Nothing, dear, what makes you think I want anything, I was just about to tell you how lovely you look and I love the way you…"_

_"What do you want, Albie?"_

_"My Sherbet Lemon! It's mine by right, I bought it myself, not you! You stole it, and you should be grateful I have decided it will not affect your next paycheck, so give it over, Minnie!"_

_"You've never been good at blackmailing, Dumbly, why, if I wanted to, I could become Headmistress before you could stutter 'Minnie',"_ she grinned at his dumbfounded expression.

_"How so? Minnie,"_ he stood a few paces away, looking around the small island she had put them on, a small island somewhere Merlin knows, a bloody island full of sand, trees, some rugged peak in the middle, and lots and lots of ocean so far he could see.

_"I have several discriminating evidence on each of the governors…"_

_"Really?"_

_"Really!"_

_"How do you expect to blackmail anyone, Minnie, with no pokerface?"_

_"I have a pokerface, see,"_ she scrunched her face up.

_"No, you just look like an exploding tomato, sorry, dear,"_ he did a little summersault, and another one, till he reached the shoreline.

_"Albus, I DO have a pokerface, I do… Albus, will you listen, I DO have a… What are you doing?"_ the last came out a bit frantically, but she didn't care, perhaps the elixir in the last candy had done something to his brain…

_"Cheeking the water,"_ he replied vaguely

_"Uh, are you going swimming?"_

_"Not in a million years, no, I'm trying to figure out our location, Min,"_ he stuck his toes in the water, wriggling them, and was beside her in a second.

"_What have you done?"_ he sounded nervous.

_"Nothing,"_ she tried to appear calm.

_"How come then, I have no clue about where we are, and I can't apparate back to Hogwarts?"_

_"I've put a spell on this island, in a 10 kilometres radius,"_ she smiled challengely.

_"What kind of catastrophic spell have you doomed me to?"_

_"A non-magic spell, Sir_," she laughed at his strange expression, but soon it became a frightful scream as she etched away from his eyes, now seeming the fitting image of a thunderstorm.

"_What have you done, silly witch! How am I to get off this bloody forsaken island?"_

_"Well, the spell wears off, in… 10 days_," she backed away from him, looking over her shoulder to estimate how far away the forest was.

_"So, why have you planned for us to be stranded, for 10 days…?"_

_"You make it sound so dreadful, Albus! This is really a lovely chance for you to relax, and get away from all your worrying duties…"_

_"MINERVA!"_ She had done IT again. The last time, she had locked him in his office, refusing to let him out before he had promised to take some days off, the worst of it; everyone had sided with her, even the paintings of former headmasters and headmistresses. Obviously she had done something similar, again, though this time it seemed rather catastrophic.

She had jumped at his tone of voice, and was now looking darkly at him from under long lashes.

He schooled his voice, and asked calmly – to him he sounded calmly, but she flinched nonetheless: "_So, all this stealing my Sherbet Lemon, was from the start, just a way to get me stranded on a bleeping island, so I can take some days off, vacation?"_

_"Yes…"_

He sighed. Wonderful. Stranded for 10 days.

_"Can I then at the least have my Sherbet Lemon now?"_

_"Of course, here you…"_

**Rumble**

_"What was that? Minerva?"_

**RUMBLE**

_"Uh-Oh,"_ he followed herwide eyes, and his fell on that rugged peak, where smoke nowwas rising out, the whole island seemed to be heaving, with great effort he gathered his wits, and looked away from the erupting volcano.

_"Of all bloody islands, you had to pick a bloody one, with a bloody volcano, woman!"_ He screamed, but Minerva looked lost, her face ashen, and her senses seemed to have gone on holiday.

He grabbed her arm, and yanked her rather roughly toward the edge of the beach. He went till he was surrounded by water on all sides, down from his middle, Minerva stood rigidly beside him, she didn't like water that much. Throwing her over his shoulder he waded a few feets more, and threw her in the water with a great splash. That seemed to bring back his Minerva.

_"AargH! What do you think you're playing at! I can't stand water! I'm drenched!"_

He ignored her, at least for now, and dragged her along with him, still farther out.

_"We have to get to the Boundary of your Spell, before the volcano erupts, or you and me are finito, darling,"_ that seemed to shut her up.

But still.

_"I don't swim Albus!"_

_"Oh yes you do!"_

_"No, earnestly, I suck at it,"_ she sighed loudly.

_"I do not care, as long as you move to get the hell out of here…"_

For a time she said nothing, it was just the two of them wading through water reaching their necks. Albus felt his anger slowly ebb away, it was not the woman's fault that everything she planned ended up a catastrophe. He loved her no less.

_"Minerva, can I have my Sherbet Lemon now?"_ He really felt he deserved it, and he could think of nothing better to do, than pop the candy in his mouth, savouring the sweet taste he loved so…

She turned her head, and he saw her chewing on something, a pained look upon her face. That better not be his Sherbet Lemon!

_"I was hungry,"_ she even dared to give him a small apologetic smile.

_"Swim, woman, SWIM!"_

**THE END!**

**A/N:** Finally! Now, I'm not sure this is all the ending you wanted, I'm not sure it's the ending I wanted, but the more I read it, the more I like it. So, that's the end of my little parody of our favourite couple…

I have to say though, to ease your minds, they do get out of it, without being fatally hurt )

I would like to thank, wow that sounds like celebrity speech, anyone who has ever reviewed, you guys are the best, and all your wonderful comments has kept me going with this utterly silly story/parody… ) So, thank you from my heart.

Darlingddearheart, Angeldust-aka-Evilwoman, Alrasha, Morgana-Alex, Catwoman99, Leviathan Ashes, MooseDeVita, Portkeys Miss-Mione, Daydreamer1127, bookmnjan, Queenie-97, Mugglemin, Intelligent Witch, Talons, xxWebsFromAllTheSpidersx, Kichikitsune, Kelenariel Khelekkir, CheddarTrek, Cecikun, Petriebird18, Ginger newts, Banana Princess, TheNash, Ennui-EAF, Peaceful Violence, Tabby Bee, TabbyKit, Quill of Minerva, JoanneM, Kelsea Scarlett, Augusta, Lady Urguntha, TartanLioness, Lady-jolly, Rikki8879, ADandMM4eva, Alesia G, Ariana the musical genius, MysticMusc, Aurinko, Miniminnie, minni, Helen, Fluff Anonymous, bloody mary, blacky, star, fan, ichigos, Elena, sevi, puppyheart, Gothic Minerva, Kidarock…

Hope I got all of you )

**Pal**, cya soon )


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